The “YOU’RE A BAD PARENT”
Ironically, the other post I hate is the exact opposite (although it usually comes from the same place). This post comes in two forms, and the first goes something like this.
“The other day I saw a man at the park with his son and he was on his phone almost the whole time. People, put down your phones. 50 years from now that e-mail won’t matter but that moment with your kid will. Do you want your kids to see your face or the back of your phone?”
In this post, phones (and other technology) are always to blame. Nobody ever read books or magazines at the park before phones? Nope, everyone spent every moment looking into their child’s eyes and being filled with wonder.
I’m a little sensitive to this one because I take my kids to the park and then spend a good amount of time on my phone. But here’s a question for any potential young Christian blogger who might see me at the park. Did you notice when it was? Thursday morning? What do you think makes me able to go to the park with my kids on a Thursday morning? You guessed it: my smart phone. I also take my three year old to get coffee (he gets milk) and then sit and talk with him. But when he’s playing with other kids at the park, I’m gonna give him some space and check some e-mails. Because, as a pastor, that e-mail might be really important RIGHT NOW.
The other form this post takes is more subtle.
“Check out this picture of my 3 year old reading and exegeting the story of Jonah while we have organic homegrown black beans cooking for lunch. Also, notice my child’s skinny jeans and TOMS. During his nap today I’m going to do a devotional and then pray that I can be a Proverbs 31 woman and prepare for our afternoon craft and service project. Remember, every moment is a teachable moment and your babies are precious.”
This one I feel the most comfortable talking about because this (without the arrogance) is my wife. She is a wonderful mother who teaches our 3 year old how to read, dresses him well, teaches him in almost every moment, and feeds him healthy food. I really am thankful for what a wonderful mother she is.
She also doesn’t blog about it. Blogs are the new street corners.
Do you know what happens to kids with parents that exist only to be parents? They grow up to be entitled. Kids need parents to be something more than mom and dad. They need parents to show them how to be a person of integrity at work, they need parents to show them how to find their goals in God’s will, they need parents to be real people with identities that are not dependent on being mommy or daddy.
Why do we share these? Because they make us feel like we’ve done something we haven’t. We share a post about putting your phone down and being with your kids FROM OUR PHONE AT THE PARK!
We really like to do this. We sit down and make a diet plan and feel like we’ve already made a positive step for our health (we haven’t). We make our budget that allows us to pay off all our credit card debt in six months and feel like we’ve basically taken care of it (we haven’t).
One of my most shared posts is “Why to Read Old Books.” It was viewed hundreds of times and shared hundreds of times. But each month, only a handful of people read the books with me. Because we love for people to THINK we are going to do something, we get the respect as if we had done it without even having to do it. Some experts are starting to say not to tell people your goals for this very reason.
So stop sharing this and start actually being a better parent.